How to Make a Friend Stop Swearing to You
Do you feel annoyed when you hear your friend swearing? As time goes by, his/her swearing habit gets worse. At present, your friend is likely to swear and yell at the same time. The worst part of all, your friend does it to almost everybody, including you.
When we hear somebody swearing and yelling at us, our common reaction is defending ourselves. The way we defending ourselves can be by swearing and yelling back, such as, “Do not yelling at me!”, or, “I cannot accept the way you treat me!”
Nonetheless, when you do such things (get annoyed, swearing and yelling back), have you realized if your emotion is being controlled by him/her? Through your negative emotion, you let somebody else to be in charge of your emotional condition.
Do you want somebody else to have power over your emotional condition through his/her vulgar language? Do you want to let your emotion being manipulated by his/her negative attitude? Most of normal people would say, “I do not.”
Now the question is, what should we do to keep ourselves calm? Most importantly, how to make my friend stop swearing? As a friend, you are willing to make him/her becoming a nicer person.
Here are several tips which might able to make a friend stop swearing.
Avoid defending yourself
You better avoid defending yourself by putting words such as “I” or “me” in your first reaction.
Psychologically, through these words, you will make your friend’s problem becoming your problem.
So therefore, instead of using these first subject words, you should use the words “you” only.
The following lines can be an example (show your reaction in a normal tone):
– Why do you look so angry at most of time?
– Why are you always complaining?
– What’s wrong with you?, or
– Seems something is bothering you a lot.
Throughout these lines, you keep the problems in his side. If you speak calmly and normally, you are still in charge of your emotion. While on the other side, your friend start thinking and defending himself / herself.
Acknowledge the intention
Psychologically, your friend feels powerful and has a control over you through his/her vulgar language. However, in a healthy relationship, by telling to your friend that his/her manners is unacceptable already more than enough.
If your friend gets angrier with your words, just acknowledge your friend’s intention through these words, “OK, I am sorry for my words. You are right. I feel really bad for it.”
Then, leave him/her and start thinking seriously about continuing your relationship with him/her. Why you should do this? Because a healthy relationship is built on mutual understanding and respect to each other.