Teenadvice

Signs of an Abusive Relationship

A relationship does not necessarily have to be physically harmful to be considered abusive.  The type of abuse can be mental and emotional or physical or both.  Evidence of dating abuse may not show up as beatings and bruises, so knowing the signs of an abusive relationship can help you escape from a dangerous situation before it gets worse.  Learn some the common warning signs listed below to keep yourself safe while dating.

Constantly Checking up on You:

When a loving partner calls to ask about your life, or shows concern about your wellbeing, that’s really nice.  However, if the person you are dating keeps calling you frequently throughout the day and expects full, detailed information on where you are, and who you are with, then your partner may have an unhealthy interest in you that can turn possessive quickly.

She/He Lies to You:

No relationship can survive unless there is mutual trust between both partners.  Yes, little white lies may creep in when the other person wants to spare your feelings or avoid an argument; that’s normal.  If you catch your partner frequently lying about important issues, then you are not being respected in your relationship, and it is not worth keeping.

Not Allowing You to Talk to Other Girls/Guys:

Just because you are in a relationship does not mean that you should not talk to any other person of the opposite sex.  If your partner is suspicious of something, then he or she should voice their concern to you in a proper way, but not try to control your life completely.  This form of abuse shows distrust and insecurity in the other person and the relationship may not be worth keeping.

Threatening to Hurt Himself/Herself

If your partners say that “he/she will kill himself if you break up,” then you are being manipulated by them though guilt and fear.  Any kind of threat like this should be taken seriously and you should tell a concerned adult right away.  It is not your responsibility to stay in a relationship so that the other person can be happy and this is a serious form of emotional abuse.

Forcing You to Have Physical Intimacy

If your partner really loves and cares for you, he/she will never force or coerce you to do something you are not comfortable doing.  It is better to walk away from the relationship than engage in unwanted sex, which can include physical intimacy such as kissing, oral sex or intercourse.  A partner that does not respect your boundaries concerning sex does not have your best interest at heart, and will not offer you the love and trust you deserve.

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